Halfway through the two week wait I should not be having

I am now on cycle day 32 and counting from 2 days after my positive ovulation test I am halfway through my two week wait - 7DPO (Days Past Ovulation)
I HATE that I am back to this stage again when what I SHOULD be is 9 weeks 1 day pregnant today and looking forward to my first scan in  a few weeks time (It was booked for June 6th)

Yesterday it was exactly 1 month since my miscarriage. I got a letter back from the fertility department after I wrote to let them know what had happened.
The letter was nice of course but so hard seeing it in an official letter.
They have said I should just take my Clomid next cycle and as I am due to see them again on June 25th they did not say much else.

Hubby told me to order yet more ovulation tests as I have used soooooo many this cycle as I ovulated late and had been so worried about missing it and so had tested obsessively.
He kept saying he hoped I would not need them next cycle as he so hopes I fall pregnant again, but I am not getting my hopes up.
He seriously does not me to have to take Clomid again as I get quite serious side effects and really struggle with them, ass if needing to take them is not bad enough.
I do have a couple more First Response pregnany tests in the bathroom cabinet and did order another pack of the Clearblue digital ones too.
Going by the days past ovulation I am assuming my af (period) is due this coming weekend, but that is only if my luteal phase has routine has not been messed up by the miscarriage too as apparently it can mess everything up. I am hoping  it hasn't as it was early, but who knows.

When I got my so long yearned and tried for BFP last cycle it was on 12DPO, I had ovulated earlier on about cd16/17 so the cycle was not as long as this one will be.
I don't know when or even if I will test, I know my will power is rubbish so I probably will but part of me wants to put it off as seeing yet another BFN (Big Fat Negative) will kill me (I cannot even count how many of those I must have seen over 31 months (More than 2 and a half years)

I still have not felt able to tell my parents about the miscarriage and I don't know whether I will ever be able to which is a horrible feeling and very lonely.
Lonely is a feeling that remains constant at the moment, unbelievably lonely and invisable sums it up.

So for now there are no updates, but I will of course blog if and when there is anything to blog about.