I hope anyone out there reading this had a better start to 2012 than we did.
My poor hubby only came out of hospital on Monday having spent nearly 11 days there.
He had not really been himself since the week before Christmas, he is usually famous for his appetite but he was not really eating as much as he usually did and kept mentioning feeling bloated, but none of us really thought much about it as who doesn't feel bloated around Christmas.
We went away for a few days between Christmas and the new year and he was the same.
Then the first week of the new year he got really bad, he went back to work on January 3rd and by that afternoon he was on the phone telling me he was on the way home and had made an emergency appointment with our gp.
So we went to the doctor who after testing a urine sample said he had a bladder infection and prescribed a strong antibiotic.
The next day was our eldest son's birthday, poor love, it was a bit ruined for him as aswell as having to school on his birthday (And we all remember how rubbish that was) his dad spent the entire day in bed struggling to get any sleep as the bloated feeling had turned to agony.
So despite trying to get him to go to hospital or at least go back to gp, 2 days later we wereback seeing a different gp who said the urine sample had been sent to the hospital showed there was not a bladder infection so told him to stop the antibiotics.
She tested another sample and was worried when it showed signs of liver trouble, so then we were sent off to the hospital for a blood test (as apparently our gp surgery could not fit him in for one, even in an emergency)
So after waiting in agony for nearly 2 HOURS hubby had his blood test.
We had to go straight back to the gp for the results the next morning.
The morning of the appointment hubby was worse than ever, neither of us had been getting any sleep and I had ended up on the sofa to let him have the whole bed to try to get comfortable and sleep.
So by the time we saw the gp hubby was really suffering.
Before examining him she said we had 2 options either they send him home with general antibiotics for me to look after (Like I had already been)
OR we could go to hospital to find out what was wrong!!! (Yes, seriously, she thought there was a choice)
Then she examined him and got worried he might have a blockage in his bowel so we were sent to hospital
I won't go into how much we were messed about in A & E despite hubby clearly being in agony.
Hubby was admitted and the first guess was kidney stones, he was finally given morphine and after a CT scan of the kidneys they ruled out kidney stones and changed their guess to possible ulcers and were talking about doing a proceedure called a colonoscopy.
This was untill another doctor said if there were ulcers they could rupture during the proceedure so instead they decided it would be a better idea to do a FULL CT scan (I know, might have been a better idea to have done in the first place but there you go)
While all this was going on hubby was not allowed to eat anything (Not that he even wanted to) he was on morphine, paracetemol, 2 different antibiotics and iv fluids.
It was a bit of a shock when they told us the CT result, there was no mention of ulcers. they said they were diagnosing pancreatitis and the scary part was it was not caused by alcohol or gallstones as it usually is, hubby's was caused by widespread blood clots!
So now he is on Warfarin and we are waiting to find out the cause of these scary clots via all sorts of genetic and other blood tests.
He has been home for 4 days and fingers crossed his pain is easing.
We are still going back and forth to the hospital as they are trying to get his blood clotting levels right and his Warfarin dose right.
We are also waiting for appointments with haemotology and gastro (as he has an enlarged liver too)
But I am so glad hubby is finally home, it has been a nightmare for us all, my poor kids have had to out up with me having to spend about 6 hours a day at the hospital for 10 days and I have had to juggle 3 kids, (getting them fed to and from school etc) home and making sure hubby is properly looked after (as they kept him waiting far too long for pain relief)
As for the TTC, well the day hubby was admitted to hospital was cd2 in my cycle so was the day I started my very first cycle of Clomid, I ummed and ahhhed about whether to still take it, but in the end I decided to do it as I know it can take months to work.
It was horrible taking it at home alone without hubby,
Side effects wise it was not too bad, but I guess I was so distracted with all the worry with hubby I might not have noticed.
I did have weird feelings in my lower abdomen and my boobs were a bit painful for a couple of days.
Anyway I started testing with my usual cheapie ovulation tests and they went from totally negative to the strongest positive I have EVER had on cd14 which is also the earliest I have EVER had a positive.
And also very unusually I went back to negative the next day when normally I have my positive for 3 days running.
We were only able to try on the day of the positive which I know is a good thing, but I am not holding out much hope.
I am on cd16 today and will need to go for my first progesterone test on cd21, then I will have to wait 2 days and then phone for the results to find out what dose I need to take next cycle.
Wow what a long blog
Happy New Year to you all xxxxxxx
Friday, 20 January 2012
Thursday, 5 January 2012
Guess I am starting Clomid then
I did take a First Response Early pregnancy test yesterday morning (January 4th) and no surprise as I had already started to suspect my af was coming, it was a great big fat negative !
Then this morning it came with a vengence and I have been in agony ever since.
So today is officially cycle day 1 and tomorrow night I will take my very first dose of Clomid fertility drug.
I am taking it at night time to try to avoid some of the nasty side effects.
Bit of a nightmare week so far, yesterday was my eldest son's 17th birthday and as well as finding out I have failed to conceive once again my poor hubby is very poorly so my poor son did not have the most exciting birthday, although luckily my parents came over which did actually help.
So that is the only update right now, I will try and blog about the Clomid itself, side effects, observations etc.
Then this morning it came with a vengence and I have been in agony ever since.
So today is officially cycle day 1 and tomorrow night I will take my very first dose of Clomid fertility drug.
I am taking it at night time to try to avoid some of the nasty side effects.
Bit of a nightmare week so far, yesterday was my eldest son's 17th birthday and as well as finding out I have failed to conceive once again my poor hubby is very poorly so my poor son did not have the most exciting birthday, although luckily my parents came over which did actually help.
So that is the only update right now, I will try and blog about the Clomid itself, side effects, observations etc.
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
Feeling Old!!
Tomorrow my eldest son will be 17 years old and that makes me feel sooooo old, although it probably does not help that it feels like we have been trying for this baby for such a long time.
Today is the first day back to school for my kids and back to work for hubby after Christmas/New Year and typically the weather has been totally lousy.
Not much of an update for you right now, but today is about cycle day 32 and according to my Clearblue computer thingy I am due on today, so I have taken the plunge yet again and bought a First Response pregnancy test, but I am not going to take the test until tomorrow morning, maybe it being my son's birthday might bring us some luck (with our 3rd son we got our BFP on a Christmas Day)
I am obviously hoping for my long awaited BFP, but if not I am waiting to start my next cycle so I can start my fertility treatment (Clomid)
Hubby bless him is so hoping this is OUR month as he is worried about me taking the medication due to some of the more scary side effects (they even worry him more than the possibility of twins.)
I think I am about 14 or 15 days past ovulation (going by the ovulation prediction kits) so I am hoping taking the test tomorrow will be pretty accurate.
So I guess I have to wait and see yet again .....
Today is the first day back to school for my kids and back to work for hubby after Christmas/New Year and typically the weather has been totally lousy.
Not much of an update for you right now, but today is about cycle day 32 and according to my Clearblue computer thingy I am due on today, so I have taken the plunge yet again and bought a First Response pregnancy test, but I am not going to take the test until tomorrow morning, maybe it being my son's birthday might bring us some luck (with our 3rd son we got our BFP on a Christmas Day)
I am obviously hoping for my long awaited BFP, but if not I am waiting to start my next cycle so I can start my fertility treatment (Clomid)
Hubby bless him is so hoping this is OUR month as he is worried about me taking the medication due to some of the more scary side effects (they even worry him more than the possibility of twins.)
I think I am about 14 or 15 days past ovulation (going by the ovulation prediction kits) so I am hoping taking the test tomorrow will be pretty accurate.
So I guess I have to wait and see yet again .....
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Wednesday, 21 December 2011
Finally had second fertility specialist appointment
After the hospital cancelling the appointment from the original date of November 28th and delaying it till January 23rd, I then complained and after waiting ages they finally gave me a new appointment for the 19th December YAY!!!! 
The only problem was that it meant hubby couldn't make it as he had a work commitment he was not able to get out of and we knew if we tried to change the appointment they would make us wait who knows how long for another.
Luckily a good friend of mine offered to come with me.
So trying to be organised and knowing I was so stressed I would forget details, I took a little notebook with me, I even wrote pre appointment notes before the appointment so I would know what I wanted to make note of, I wrote FSH, LH etc and left little spaces next to them for the results lol.
I then went in to town to meet my friend at her work (She had changed her hours for the day to be able to come with me, bless her)
She said I looked completely stressed as soon as she saw me so god knows what I must have looked like.
We got to the clinic and it was as busy as always, but luckily we did not have to wait too long to be seen, or maybe it just felt like that as I was able to chat away with my friend while waiting.
As soon as we walked into the consultant's room he went straight into my test results as I am sure I must have looked even more nervous lol
He had hubby's second semen analysis results on his computer screen, he said they were normal and that although they had not been able to check the count this time, he was not concerned as the count had been so high before and had been more concerned with what they call the motility (how well they swim, whether they swim in the same direction etc) as this had been slightly lower than average when it was checked back in March, but he was pleased as this time it was up from 37% to 43% (Average is 40% he said)
I said "So it's not him, it's me that's the problem then?" he was very tactful and didn't answer that lol
He then said all my tests were normal, I asked for my FSH level and he said it was 4.3 and then went back through my records and said strangely my FSH levels had got better over the last 3 times it has been tested.
He said my LH level was ok too at 2.6.
My HSG proceedure had shown my tubes were clear and my internal ultrasound had been normal too so the only conclusion was a problem with ovulating.
He has prescribed 6 months of a fertility drug called Clomid.
He said I have to start taking 50mg on day 2 of my next cycle through to day 6, and then I have to go to the hospital on day 21 to have a blood test to check whether my ovaries respond to the treatment.
I need to phone the specialist fertility nurse 2 days later for the result and if the ovaries are not responding the nurse will increase the dose for the next cycle and I will start all over again.
He warned me about possible side effects saying there was a 10% chance of conceiving twins as the drug makes the ovaries release more than one egg, I couldn't look at my friend when he said this as I could just imagine her face thinking of my hubby's reaction to TWINS!!! lol
He then warned me about other side effects such as the fact my ovaries were going to become massive and painful and that I neeeded to look out for something called hyper ovarian stimulation syndrome (think I have that right) where they get too stimulated and cause fluid in the stomach that needs to be treated in hospital as an emergency.
Bit scary!
I left with a prescription for 6 months of Clomid and another appointment with the fertility specialist for 6 months time (Unless they change it on me again)
We went to the hospital pharmacy to collect my medication and it was hard not to laugh as I was questioned about alergies etc and whether I knew why I was taking the drug and then the most intelligent question... was I PREGNANT???
So now I am on cycle day 19 and again this month I took soya isoflavones at the start of my cycle (I tried taking them earlier than last month and I also upped the dose from 100mg to 150mg) and I did get my positive opk a whole DAY earlier than last month wooo hooo lol
Hubby bless him seems to be hoping we conceive this month so I won't have to take the fertility drug as he does not like the idea of the more serious side effects (Although I think the thought of twins probably worries him a bit too lol)
My next cycle is not due to start until early January so not much else I can do right now, apart from the obvious of course lol
Oh well Merry Christmas to any readers out there and all the best for 2012 whatever your plans are
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The only problem was that it meant hubby couldn't make it as he had a work commitment he was not able to get out of and we knew if we tried to change the appointment they would make us wait who knows how long for another.
Luckily a good friend of mine offered to come with me.
So trying to be organised and knowing I was so stressed I would forget details, I took a little notebook with me, I even wrote pre appointment notes before the appointment so I would know what I wanted to make note of, I wrote FSH, LH etc and left little spaces next to them for the results lol.
I then went in to town to meet my friend at her work (She had changed her hours for the day to be able to come with me, bless her)
She said I looked completely stressed as soon as she saw me so god knows what I must have looked like.
We got to the clinic and it was as busy as always, but luckily we did not have to wait too long to be seen, or maybe it just felt like that as I was able to chat away with my friend while waiting.
As soon as we walked into the consultant's room he went straight into my test results as I am sure I must have looked even more nervous lol
He had hubby's second semen analysis results on his computer screen, he said they were normal and that although they had not been able to check the count this time, he was not concerned as the count had been so high before and had been more concerned with what they call the motility (how well they swim, whether they swim in the same direction etc) as this had been slightly lower than average when it was checked back in March, but he was pleased as this time it was up from 37% to 43% (Average is 40% he said)
I said "So it's not him, it's me that's the problem then?" he was very tactful and didn't answer that lol
He then said all my tests were normal, I asked for my FSH level and he said it was 4.3 and then went back through my records and said strangely my FSH levels had got better over the last 3 times it has been tested.
He said my LH level was ok too at 2.6.
My HSG proceedure had shown my tubes were clear and my internal ultrasound had been normal too so the only conclusion was a problem with ovulating.
He has prescribed 6 months of a fertility drug called Clomid.
He said I have to start taking 50mg on day 2 of my next cycle through to day 6, and then I have to go to the hospital on day 21 to have a blood test to check whether my ovaries respond to the treatment.
I need to phone the specialist fertility nurse 2 days later for the result and if the ovaries are not responding the nurse will increase the dose for the next cycle and I will start all over again.
He warned me about possible side effects saying there was a 10% chance of conceiving twins as the drug makes the ovaries release more than one egg, I couldn't look at my friend when he said this as I could just imagine her face thinking of my hubby's reaction to TWINS!!! lol
He then warned me about other side effects such as the fact my ovaries were going to become massive and painful and that I neeeded to look out for something called hyper ovarian stimulation syndrome (think I have that right) where they get too stimulated and cause fluid in the stomach that needs to be treated in hospital as an emergency.
Bit scary!
I left with a prescription for 6 months of Clomid and another appointment with the fertility specialist for 6 months time (Unless they change it on me again)
We went to the hospital pharmacy to collect my medication and it was hard not to laugh as I was questioned about alergies etc and whether I knew why I was taking the drug and then the most intelligent question... was I PREGNANT???
So now I am on cycle day 19 and again this month I took soya isoflavones at the start of my cycle (I tried taking them earlier than last month and I also upped the dose from 100mg to 150mg) and I did get my positive opk a whole DAY earlier than last month wooo hooo lol
Hubby bless him seems to be hoping we conceive this month so I won't have to take the fertility drug as he does not like the idea of the more serious side effects (Although I think the thought of twins probably worries him a bit too lol)
My next cycle is not due to start until early January so not much else I can do right now, apart from the obvious of course lol
Oh well Merry Christmas to any readers out there and all the best for 2012 whatever your plans are
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Tuesday, 13 December 2011
Less than a week to go
Till my second fertility specialist appointment that is.
Today is Tuesday and my appointment is on Monday and I have to say I am already starting to get worried whenever I let myself think about it.
My hubby definitely cannot make it to the appointment this time due to work commitments, I am very lucky a lovely friend of mine offered to change her hours at work for the day and is coming with me.
I am going to have to take a notebook with me to write stuff down for hubby, especially details of my test results and also his recent semen analysis as I know I will struggle to take it all in without him there.
This is the last week of term for my boys so they will be home when I have my appointment, but the older 2 are now old enough to stay with the younger one for a little while.
I am glad the appointment will be over with in time for Xmas, but am so worried I will leave the appointment no better off and am scared of being fobbed off.
I willl be 37 in March and while I know some people will say this is still young, fertility wise it really isn't and the fact that this time we have been trying to conceive for so long with no luck cannot be a good sign.
My cycles are still totally irregular which is not how they used to be and I have also noticed that my actual periods are getting shorter which really worries me too as I am worried I might be starting some sort of peri menopause and yet again have been researching and these are all possible signs and apparently anything under 40 is considered early menopause, I also discovered that this peri menopause thing can last anything up to 10 years before going into full menopause and they only confirm full menopause when you have not had a period for 12 months.
I went to Zumba last night with a friend, on the way there in her car with another friend of hers we were talking about my problems conceiving and I was so surprised and happy to hear the other lady saying that she can imagine some people saying it cannot be that bad or upsetting as I already have 3 kids, but that she could imagine that it does not actually mean it hurts any less.
It was so nice to hear someone actually able to empathise and not just spout insensitive comments.
I keep bumping into people I have not seen for quite a while who I told ages ago we were trying for another baby and it is really hard as they either assume we have changed our minds about trying or they try to joke around saying things like "Wow , you STILL not pregnant?" etc.
Also I still regularly go on a chat forum I have been going on all year and now I am seeing women who started trying after me or around the same time and are now giving birth or getting close to it, it just reminds me exactly how long we have been trying for.
As Christmas is coming we will soon be getting together with hubbys family, we have not seen some of them since the Summer when we told then we are trying for a baby so I know the conversation will come round to it at some point and while I would be a bit put out of no one mentioned it as it is so important to me, I can imagine how upsetting the conversation might be.
Hubby bless him still says he believes we will have another baby, but I am less and less convinced and I do wonder whether he really is as sure as he claims, or whether he is just trying to stay positive for me as he can see I am losing faith.
He has admitted it is taking a lot longer than he thought it would and that he was sure I would at least have been pregnant by Christmas and I am not even close.
Some of my friends have even given up asking me how things are going, maybe because they too are losing faith and just don't want to upset me by asking as they know I am not falling pregnant because they know me well enough to know if I was I would be shouting it from the roof tops.
So to give a little update, today is cycle day 10 and I have started testing with ovulation tests, I am hoping the earlier and higher dose I took of soya isoflavones this cycle MIGHT make me get an earlier positive OPK and hopefully I might actually ovulate as despite getting positive opks, I am not convinced I am.
We will see....
Today is Tuesday and my appointment is on Monday and I have to say I am already starting to get worried whenever I let myself think about it.
My hubby definitely cannot make it to the appointment this time due to work commitments, I am very lucky a lovely friend of mine offered to change her hours at work for the day and is coming with me.
I am going to have to take a notebook with me to write stuff down for hubby, especially details of my test results and also his recent semen analysis as I know I will struggle to take it all in without him there.
This is the last week of term for my boys so they will be home when I have my appointment, but the older 2 are now old enough to stay with the younger one for a little while.
I am glad the appointment will be over with in time for Xmas, but am so worried I will leave the appointment no better off and am scared of being fobbed off.
I willl be 37 in March and while I know some people will say this is still young, fertility wise it really isn't and the fact that this time we have been trying to conceive for so long with no luck cannot be a good sign.
My cycles are still totally irregular which is not how they used to be and I have also noticed that my actual periods are getting shorter which really worries me too as I am worried I might be starting some sort of peri menopause and yet again have been researching and these are all possible signs and apparently anything under 40 is considered early menopause, I also discovered that this peri menopause thing can last anything up to 10 years before going into full menopause and they only confirm full menopause when you have not had a period for 12 months.
I went to Zumba last night with a friend, on the way there in her car with another friend of hers we were talking about my problems conceiving and I was so surprised and happy to hear the other lady saying that she can imagine some people saying it cannot be that bad or upsetting as I already have 3 kids, but that she could imagine that it does not actually mean it hurts any less.
It was so nice to hear someone actually able to empathise and not just spout insensitive comments.
I keep bumping into people I have not seen for quite a while who I told ages ago we were trying for another baby and it is really hard as they either assume we have changed our minds about trying or they try to joke around saying things like "Wow , you STILL not pregnant?" etc.
Also I still regularly go on a chat forum I have been going on all year and now I am seeing women who started trying after me or around the same time and are now giving birth or getting close to it, it just reminds me exactly how long we have been trying for.
As Christmas is coming we will soon be getting together with hubbys family, we have not seen some of them since the Summer when we told then we are trying for a baby so I know the conversation will come round to it at some point and while I would be a bit put out of no one mentioned it as it is so important to me, I can imagine how upsetting the conversation might be.
Hubby bless him still says he believes we will have another baby, but I am less and less convinced and I do wonder whether he really is as sure as he claims, or whether he is just trying to stay positive for me as he can see I am losing faith.
He has admitted it is taking a lot longer than he thought it would and that he was sure I would at least have been pregnant by Christmas and I am not even close.
Some of my friends have even given up asking me how things are going, maybe because they too are losing faith and just don't want to upset me by asking as they know I am not falling pregnant because they know me well enough to know if I was I would be shouting it from the roof tops.
So to give a little update, today is cycle day 10 and I have started testing with ovulation tests, I am hoping the earlier and higher dose I took of soya isoflavones this cycle MIGHT make me get an earlier positive OPK and hopefully I might actually ovulate as despite getting positive opks, I am not convinced I am.
We will see....
Thursday, 1 December 2011
Maybe I shouldn't blog when upset, but...
I have to let these feelings out.
As you can probably guess, I don't have any good news for this month either, sorry.
It is cycle day 32 and as I got my positive ovulation prediction test result on day 18, counting from day 20 when it went back to being negative, today I am about 13 days past ovulation.
I even took soya isoflavones this cycle, I took 100mg from day 5 to day 9, not sure whether I need to think of trying taking them earlier, a larger dose, or both!
Well today I have not only started light pink spotting, but I took an internet cheapie pregnancy test a bit earlier this afternoon and it could not have been any more negative if it tried.
I have my second appointment with the fertility specialist in just over two weeks, but I have to say right now I am dreading it and am starting to really get scared of what they might say.
To make it harder, hubby cannot make it this time due to work he cannot get out of.
I thought about changing the appointment but anyone reading this blog will know I was originally meant to be having this appointment in November, but the hospital cancelled and changed it to mid January and now they have given me an earlier appointment (After I complained) I cannot really changed it as who knows how long I would have to wait.
My lovely friend offered and has changed her working hours so she can come with me for support which is amazing of her.
Hubby will be doing his repeat semen analysis next week so the specialist will have all the results ready in time for my appointment hopefully, I know he said he needed this done a month before the appointment, but as the appointment was changed late we do not have a month, but hopefully will be ok as I know they do their analysis within an hour of it being given to them.
It would have been so lovely to have been pregnant for xmas like I was with my last baby, but right now what is the most painful is how long it is taking and this niggling fear that it just is not going to happen.
I have to drag myself out in the horriblw weather soon to collect my youngest from school and give him an extra cuddle, but just wanted to update my blog quickly.
As you can probably guess, I don't have any good news for this month either, sorry.
It is cycle day 32 and as I got my positive ovulation prediction test result on day 18, counting from day 20 when it went back to being negative, today I am about 13 days past ovulation.
I even took soya isoflavones this cycle, I took 100mg from day 5 to day 9, not sure whether I need to think of trying taking them earlier, a larger dose, or both!
Well today I have not only started light pink spotting, but I took an internet cheapie pregnancy test a bit earlier this afternoon and it could not have been any more negative if it tried.
I have my second appointment with the fertility specialist in just over two weeks, but I have to say right now I am dreading it and am starting to really get scared of what they might say.
To make it harder, hubby cannot make it this time due to work he cannot get out of.
I thought about changing the appointment but anyone reading this blog will know I was originally meant to be having this appointment in November, but the hospital cancelled and changed it to mid January and now they have given me an earlier appointment (After I complained) I cannot really changed it as who knows how long I would have to wait.
My lovely friend offered and has changed her working hours so she can come with me for support which is amazing of her.
Hubby will be doing his repeat semen analysis next week so the specialist will have all the results ready in time for my appointment hopefully, I know he said he needed this done a month before the appointment, but as the appointment was changed late we do not have a month, but hopefully will be ok as I know they do their analysis within an hour of it being given to them.
It would have been so lovely to have been pregnant for xmas like I was with my last baby, but right now what is the most painful is how long it is taking and this niggling fear that it just is not going to happen.
I have to drag myself out in the horriblw weather soon to collect my youngest from school and give him an extra cuddle, but just wanted to update my blog quickly.
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