Maybe I shouldn't blog when upset, but...

I have to let these feelings out.

As you can probably guess, I don't have any good news for this month either, sorry.

It is cycle day 32 and as I got my positive ovulation prediction test result on day 18, counting from day 20 when it went back to being negative, today I am about 13 days past ovulation.
I even took soya isoflavones this cycle, I took 100mg from day 5 to day 9, not sure whether I need to think of trying taking them earlier, a larger dose, or both!

Well today I have not only started light pink spotting, but I took an internet cheapie pregnancy test a bit earlier this afternoon and it could not have been any more negative if it tried.

I have my second appointment with the fertility specialist in just over two weeks, but I have to say right now I am dreading it and am starting to really get scared of what they might say.
To make it harder, hubby cannot make it this time due to work he cannot get out of.
I thought about changing the appointment but anyone reading this blog will know I was originally meant to be having this appointment in November, but the hospital cancelled and changed it to mid January and now they have given me an earlier appointment (After I complained) I cannot really changed it as who knows how long I would have to wait.

My lovely friend offered and has changed her working hours so she can come with me for support which is amazing of her.
Hubby will be doing his repeat semen analysis next week so the specialist will have all the results ready in time for my appointment hopefully, I know he said he needed this done a month before the appointment, but as the appointment was changed late we do not have a month, but hopefully will be ok as I know they do their analysis within an hour of it being given to them.

It would have been so lovely to have been pregnant for xmas like I was with my last baby, but right now what is the most painful is  how long it is taking and this niggling fear that it just is not going to happen.

I have to drag myself out in the horriblw weather soon to collect my youngest from school and give him an extra cuddle, but just wanted to update my blog quickly.