A New Experience

Still battling my way through some agonising days/anniversaries as well as having started my new fertility treatment last week.

Anniversary wise today is 1 year since my hubby, sons and I went to Portugal, I was 4 months pregnant and we were so hopeful after getting the first part of Bailey's test results from the horrible CVS and they had ruled out some devastating conditions. We were planning to make the call for the other results together from the beach the next week.
But of course that all changed a couple of days later (after calls from dad saying mum would not see a doctor and me trying to talk her into it, then trying desperately to get a flight back and of course failing to get one in time to say goodbye.

This Friday is coming round so fast, it will be a year since my Mum died, I have dreaded that day for so long and literally have no idea how to get through it, my dad and my brother are coming over and along with my boys we are going to Mum's memorial rose (and Bailey's memorial) 
Then back to my childhood home town where dad and my brother still live, for a meal somewhere and so I can light candles in my old local church (where my parents married) then to their local (where I organised Mums wake/get together) so the boys can play pool with my dad and maybe make him smile a little, then hubby will meet us there after work to raise a glass to mum.
It was left to me to organise the day, so I hope I have done ok.

After that difficult day it will only be a couple of weeks till Bailey's birthday.

Fertility treatment wise, I started my injectable hormones when my new cycle began last week. I had to inject, well get hubby to inject me every other day from cd2 till yesterday (cd8) then this morning at 8am I had to go for an internal scan to see if any folicles were growing and whether the womb lining was thickening right.
I felt so so alone sitting in the early pregnancy unit, yes that is where they sent me, the very same scan room where I saw Bailey for the very first time and also where we saw Bailey on his 12 week scan and where they first realised he had a problem. I could even see the quiet room we were sent to.
When I was eventually seen, they said there was only 1 folicle measuring 10mm and that my lining was only 6mm.
I then had to see the fertility nurse who wants me to now inject every day till Friday morning when I have to have another scan.
So that is what I will be doing first thing in the morning on my Mum's anniversary.