Double figures

I am now in double figures weeks wise, today I am 10 weeks and 6 days (or 7 depending how you count it) either way going by the early scan I willl be 11 weeks tomorrow.

It is less than a week until my 12 week scan now and I know I should be looking forward to it but to be honest I am just plain terrified, so scare of bad news, I know the early scan went well in the end but things can change so quickly.
I am trying to think positive but after taking so long to get here it just feels so precious and fragile to me.

I had promised myself I was going to enjoy every second of this pregnancy if I ever got pregnant, but after everything it has taken to get here I am just scared out of my wits the whole time.

It is the school holidays and hubby is working all the time, my friends are all either away or busy so apart from trying to  keep my 3 boys entertained on my own with no car I am feeling pretty lonely really.
Not missing the early mornings but I am missing the school run as at least I had someone to talk to during the day.

The scan is next Wednesday (Aug 15th) and at the moment hubby is saying he intends to be there with me, he did not come to the 2 early scans so I am just hope he means it and won't choose work at the last minute if someone in his department takes the day off again.

Apparently on the day of the scan I will also have another blood test, this along with the scan will allow the hospital to assess my risk of the baby having Downs Syndrome or other conditions.
This scares me too as I know my risk might be raised as I am now 10 years older than when I last had a baby.
I have an appointment the next day with the consultant for the first time which I am a bit nervous about as this is the same consultant who I was under for my prolapse and she had said that if I did get pregnant again she would strongly reccomend an elective c section as birth would be risky to my health physically.

The day I see the consultant is also my youngest son's 10th birthday and the day my eldest son is getting his AS Level exam results, so a manic day, hubby of course will be at work but my parents are popping over in the afternoon.

Pregnancy wise I am actually feeling more sick than ever, I never felt as sick in my other pregnancies so I am surprised I am feeling more sick instead of less the nearer I get to 3 months.
I am stilll unbelievably tired all the time.

I have had my booking in appointment a couple of weeks ago, I had to take my youngest with me which did make it hard work as I was not able to say things I wanted to and he kept interupting.
The midwife took my bloods, did my weight, height, blood pressure and checked a sample and said everything was fine, I am hoping to get blood test results when I see consultant, but am hoping as I have not heard anything that no news is good news.
The midwife agreed I need to be under the consultant rather than midwives only care.

Although I have told quite a few people now, hubby has not told anyone at his work or anything so hopefully once the scan has been done and as long as it goes ok we can go totally public as I will be 3 months.

So I guess I will update next week .....